Senses
by agents-of-ships
Summary: Need some Clintasha? You've come to the right place. (50 little bits of Natasha and Clint's life based on the senses)
1. Those blue eyes

"Do it." She was sitting in front of him, tied to a chair. She got out of everything, but she was trapped this time.

And he had an arrow aimed at her heart, an arrow he knew if he let fly would kill her and… He couldn't do it. There was something in her eyes, she was accepting it, she was ready to die. He was sure she was alone in the world and she had no one… She was a killer, but he couldn't kill her.

"You can go straight. I'll help you. They'll lock you up at first, but I'll visit you every day. You have to trust me," he had told her. She hadn't trusted him, but she followed him, because he was her way out.

He came to visit, and he brought her a blueberry muffin.

"Is it poisoned?" she asked.

"No."

She looked in his eyes, and they were blue. Of course they were blue, of course they just happened to be her favorite color. She found herself starting to trust him. She didn't trust anyone, but his eyes were blue, and maybe that was just a coincidence— but to her it felt like fate.

 **Author's note: All of these one-shots will be 200 words long, not including author's notes. I haven't finished ordering these yet, but I thought I'd post the first chapter now. It'll be 50 chapters long, and I'll try to post one every day. Keep in mind that I wrote all of these before seeing Age of Ultron, so it won't make sense with that. There is one contradiction between one-shots, but I'll still post them. These can all be in the same universe, but there is one glitch. I may fix it if I find a way. Hope you enjoy! Also, if you are having Clint/Natasha feels, feel free to message me and we can fangirl :)**


	2. Cracks

They shut the closet door behind them. Their lips met. Her hands held his face, and his hands gripped her hips. He reached up and felt her curls in this hands. Her hair was soft and amazing, and her body was pressed against his and she felt so amazing. And they kissed and they kissed and they kissed.

Clint never thought he'd be making out in a closet like a teenager with anyone, least of all the ice-cold great assassin.

She wasn't ice cold anymore, she was warm, so warm. He couldn't stop the gasps that escaped his lips and she nibbled at them. Was this what love felt like?

The door was flung open, and there stood Coulson. Clint quickly unlatched himself from Natasha. They must have been a sight to see. The emotionless Black Widow making out with the never-loves-anybody Hawkeye— what a sight. And he knew her lipstick was smeared across his face and he saw her hair was a tangled mess. He'd never seen her blush until then.

"What is this?" asked Coulson.

Clint saw the hurt in Natasha eyes. "Nothing," she said. "It's nothing."

Surprisingly— Clint believed her. Love? Of course not.

 **Author's note: Thanks for the reviews, guys! I'm glad you are enjoying the story! I'll try to post a new chapter everyday, I have them all written so it shouldn't be too hard. When reading the next chapter, you may notice that they are not romantically involved... at least not yet. These one-shots are posted in the chronological order. This romantic bit is just that, but they are not yet in love.. or are they? You can decide when in this fic you think they fall in love, but this chapter is early partnership so they don't know each other too well, yet. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Threat

Clint was getting a filling from SHIELD dentists. They had the tools arranged on a little table, and they were prepping the numbing shot. They brought the needle close to his mouth, and Clint unconsciously clenched his hands into fists. He wasn't scared of the dentist, but he was a little nervous, like most everybody. Before the dentist could give Clint the shot, Natasha stepped in.

"Stop! What are you doing to him?" she asked. Her eyes widened with fear.

"It's a common procedure…" said the dentist.

Natasha turned and stalked out.

Clint got up from the chair, telling the dentists to wait a few minutes.

"Natasha!" He walked after her. She turned around sharply. "It was going to help me. The shot is to take away the pain."

She didn't respond. He looked at her, and she looked so scared. Her eyes were wide and her hands were shaking.

"It looked like… I thought they were going to hurt you. Those same tools have been used on me, and they caused pain and torture," she said.

"Can I go back again? It won't hurt me," he asked.

"I'm not going to watch," she said. She turned, and walked away.

 **Author's note: Here's another chapter. I hope you're enjoying it so far!**


	4. Blueberry pancakes

He knew she had had a nightmare the past night. She had made him sleep on the bed, and she was on the couch. The mission was in Brazil, and it was hot, really hot. He couldn't sleep, and at 3 am he had heard her. He had heard her gasping, and it sounding like she might have been quietly crying. He had wanted to go to her, to help her in anyway he could. But—they'd only been partners for 4 months, and he didn't want to get too close, too soon.

But he had to do something. Coulson always said he made good pancakes. So, here he was at 7 in the morning, stirring blueberry pancake batter. He put the first pancake on the pan.

He looked over, and she was there.

"Morning," he said. She nodded in response. He gave her a plate with a pancake on it. "I made breakfast."

He couldn't help but worry that she wouldn't like it. He watched carefully as she took a bite. She took a few more, then looked up at him.

"This is the best food I have ever tasted," she said.

"Really?"

She nodded. "Can I have more?"

 **Author's note: So I've always had this head canon** **where Nat's favorite food is Clint's blueberry pancakes. :) I forgot to post this chapter yesterday, so today you get two chapters. Yay? Thanks for following and favoriting the story, you guys rule!**


	5. Pouring her past onto the pages

The clicking of the keyboard keys made it all seem more real. But this was something she had to do. She typed and typed.

"Natasha… You don't have to do this," he said. He saw the fire in her eyes as she typed, throwing her past onto the pages. "SHIELD knows enough about your past, you don't have to give them more information."

"I'm not giving them more information, Barton. I'm correcting the information they already have," she said. SHIELD had a decent amount of her past stored in her file. She had read her file, and noticed some things were off. They had incorrect information, and she needed to correct it. Even if correcting it told them more bad things she had done. SHIELD already hardly trusted her, and they'd trust her even less after this, but she had to set the story straight. The clicking of the keys made it all the more real, but she was ready for this. She finished typing up the correction, and hit send.

"I sent it," she said.

He looked at her with something, she couldn't quite read his feelings right then.

"I'm so proud of you," he said.

She smiled slightly.

 **Author's note: Another chapter! Hope you enjoy! :)**


	6. Budapest was

Budapest was not a scandalous romantic adventure. Budapest was a lot less exciting than people thought.

Budapest was the two of them surrounded by chaos and enemies. Budapest was them being teammates for the first time. Budapest was the start of a connection between them. Budapest was them having each other's backs. Budapest was them pushing past the odds, and winning.

Budapest was afterwards. Budapest was sitting in a shitty diner eating fatty cheese fries. Budapest was cheese fries "taking years off my life" and the way he grinned in response. Budapest was cuts and bruises and _fun._

Budapest was growing trust. Budapest was "I'd never ask for another partner". Budapest was "I'd never leave you". Budapest was "Of course you wouldn't, I'm amazing". Budapest was forced sarcasm to cover how deep he was. Budapest was her being unsure of her future, but knowing it involved him.

Budapest was staring at the sunset. Budapest was sneaking glances at the other. Budapest was being happy, for once. Budapest was staring at the sky, and not looking at all. Budapest was looking at the sunset, and thinking he was the light. Budapest was being amazed by her, instead of the glorious colors.

 **Author's note: So we found out what happened in Budapest. Tomorrow's chapter is an extension of this chapter, adding a bit more of the Budapest story. To the user who asked when they will get together- It'll be a while. There's a lot of friendship, but during some of it they may be in love. They fall in love during whatever part of the story you choose- maybe they fall in love at first meeting, or maybe right after the battle of new york. But I can tell you that it may be a little while. You'll have to stay tuned to find out more!**


	7. Cheese fries

They had finished the battle in Budapest. They were bruised and bloody, but they had worked as a team, and they were happy.

They walked into a small diner, and sat down. The waitress came over and asked what they wanted.

"Two servings of cheese fries, please," said Clint.

The cheese fries were horrible and wonderful. They were doused in cheese and soaked in oil. But they tasted oh-so-good.

"I can practically feel these things taking years off my life," she quipped.

He just grinned in response, but it was the best sort of response.

They ate and ate, tasted the delicious artificial flavors. The cheese fries tasted so good, and they had been teammates for once, and it was so fun.

They continued eating and joking and smiling. Clint suddenly realized how important this was, how fun and amazing and how he'd never want it to change.

"I'd never ask for another partner," he said.

The smile on her face softened, and she said: "I'd never leave you."

He felt a strange feeling in his stomach. _I'm in too deep._ So, he covered up how he felt with a witty reply: "Of course you wouldn't, I'm amazing."

 **Author's note: This has been a headcanon of mine for a while,,, along with blueberry pancakes,,, why are my main headcanons about food? Hm.**


	8. All the things I don't deserve

**(Note: Aliya is Maria's daughter)**

Maria, Aliya and Coulson were playing in the park. Natasha and Clint sat on a picnic blanket, just chilling. The sun was shining, the sky was a beautiful blue— it was a great day.

"Come play with us!" called little Aliya, only three years old.

"We're good here," Clint called back. Natasha rested her head on Clint's shoulder and sighed.

"This is really nice," she said.

Later, they were eating lunch as Aliya blew bubbles while Maria tried to feed her. They were talking and laughing and it was nice. The bubbles floated through the air, and they looked rainbow, as the reflected the colors of the light.

Natasha couldn't help but feel that she didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to see such pretty things, like bubbles wafting through the air. She didn't deserve to have friends to hang out with. She didn't deserve to have all this joy in her life. And she definitely didn't deserve the company of the person sitting beside her.

She turned to him, and whispered: "I don't deserve this."

He looked at her and shook his head. "You're right, you deserve so much more."

She didn't deserve him. She could never deserve him.

 **Author's note: Again, I seem to have forgotten to post a chapter yesterday. Ah well, here's yesterday's chapter. I would also like you to know that bits and pieces of this work are inspired or borrowed from other works. I hardly borrow anything, sometimes an idea or part of a line. I have no clue which fanfictions these were from, so I cannot give credit. I am in no way trying to copy any story, I only use the slightest bits of things. If you see any story that seems similar to any parts of this, please tell me.**


	9. It's the thought that counts

Natasha Romanoff, super spy— and yet she couldn't bake a cake. She knew she was horrible at cooking— after all, she never learned. And even now that she knew the basics, she sucked at it. That generally wasn't a problem. Clint was a great cook when he had the energy for it. And take-out was a common staple of their diet. But it was Clint's birthday, and so she had to try.

Clint tended to get up early, which was annoying. So Natasha had woken up at 4 am to bake the stupid cake. And of course she had burned it. She thought she might have enough time, so she tried again.

Natasha looked at the finished product. It was a mess. The layers were uneven, the frosting had a weird texture and wasn't distributed evenly.

Clint came downstairs.

"Is this—?" he asked.

She nodded and grimaced. "Happy birthday."

"You made me a cake?"

She winced.

She cut it, and they started eating, and, yep, it tasted bad too.

"Whoa, this is delicious!" he said.

"No, it isn't. Don't lie to please me. We both know it sucks."

"Maybe, but— you don't know how much this means to me."

 **Author's note: I just rearranged a few chapters, lol. But they were ones I hadn't posted, so everything should be fine :) Thanks for reading!**


	10. What keeps her going

Natasha cursed under her breath. Strike Team Delta was on a mission, and they weren't doing well. The job was to get in, take a few killers with them, and get out. But apparently there was a lot more killers than had been expected, and now it was a killing sort of mission. Neither of them wanted to kill people, but sometimes there isn't a choice.

The guy she was fighting pushed her out a window. Luckily, it was only a second story window, and she knew how to soften a fall. But as she lie there on the ground, watching the chaotic battle, all she wanted to do was give up.

The blood in her mouth tasted steely and like defeat. There were so many people against them, there was no way they were getting out of this. As she tasted the blood in her mouth it reminded her of all the times she'd tried. And maybe she wouldn't always succeed. Maybe today she wouldn't succeed.

But she looked up and saw Clint. He was fighting, knocking out enemy after enemy. She could tell he was tired, but he kept fighting. Natasha took a deep breath, and got up.

 **Author's note: This chapter was inspired by a deleted scene from the first Avengers movie :) Hope you enjoyed!**


	11. Mission

The bangs of the gunshots were loud. The smoke and dust burned her eyes. She kept fighting, kept shooting at the enemies. She could feel him next to her, although he wasn't touching her. They fought like they always did.

"I got to go retrieve the files," he said hastily.

She tried to respond, but the dust in her throat strangled the words. She nodded, though she wasn't sure if he could see her.

She shot and fought and punched and kicked and flipped, and she was making progress. The enemies number had decreased.

Suddenly, she heard a gasp. She knew it was Clint, who else could it be? She squinted through the smoke, and she saw him.

He was lying on the ground, a bullet hole in his side. His eyes were closed, and she couldn't tell if he was breathing. He looked… dead. She tried to fight her way over to him. She could feel the panic rising in her throat, her hands were shaking, and she couldn't think straight.

When she got to him, she fell to her knees, and inspected him. She let out a breath of relief when she saw his chest rising and falling.

 **Author's note: I have too many feels for these idiots. I updated the chapter with Aliya in it to say who she was, so hopefully there won't be any more confusion :) Hope you're enjoying this story!**


	12. Almost

They were at Clint's apartment, babysitting Maria's daughter. They had babysitted the girl before, Maria was a single mom, and she was busy. The girl was 5 years old, her name was Aliya, and she was sweet, she never caused trouble.

Clint left the kitchen where he had been washing the dishes after dinner. He saw Natasha and Aliya playing with play-doh.

"What're my girls making?" he asked.

As Aliya answered Clint's question, Natasha tried to suppress the feeling that came with Clint's question. _My girls. Almost like we're a family._ Natasha swallowed hard against the lump in her throat.

Clint sat beside them, and picked up a lump of play-doh, then sniffed it.

"Mmmm.. Reminds me of my childhood," he said

"You smell play-doh?" asked Natasha.

"Well, yeah, I mean what kind of kid doesn't smell—" He bit his lip. "Sorry."

Natasha tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace instead. Clint hadn't had the best childhood either, but he had had something. Natasha wasn't jealous, she just wished sometimes that she could have those memories.

Clint clasped her hand, rubbing his finger gently across her knuckles. And there came that feeling again— _family._

 **Author's note: Sorry for the confusion about who Aliya was, hopefully it's all cleared up. Thank you guys so much for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting! It means a lot. :)**


	13. Child

It was snowing outside. White flakes fell from the sky and floated to the ground. Natasha sat on the couch, sipping her coffee while watching the snow fall.

"Natasha," Clint said, walking into the room.

"Yes?"

"We're going to go outside in the snow."

She didn't question him hardly at all. She followed him blindly, she trusted him too much. But now it was nothing.

It was fun. She had never _played_ in the snow before. And that's what they were doing—playing. They built a snowman, and they made snow angels, and they threw snowballs. They laughed and played. Natasha had never really been a child, but she figured this was what it must feel like to be one.

They lie next to each other in the snow. Natasha couldn't stop laughing, even though nothing funny was going on.

"Hey, Nat, eat some snow," Clint said.

"That has to be horribly unsanitary," she replied.

Clint licked the ground, careful not to go so far as to touch the dirt.  
She sighed, but she scooped a small bit of snow in her hand and ate it.

"Doesn't it taste wonderful?" he asked.

"Tastes like water." But, it did taste good.

 **Author's note: To be honest, I'm not very proud of this one. Seems kind of ooc.. idk. I watched the Agents of SHIELD finale and aGHHH FEELS! If you want more composed thoughts about it, visit my blog- .com. I have to say a huge thank you to all of you guys! This is my most popular story on here, and every time someone follows, favorites, or reviews, it makes me super happy. 12 reviews, 15 favorites, and 33 followers! Dang, that seems like quite a few people who read and enjoy this story. Lots of hugs to all of you!**


	14. The exception

They sat across from each other, eating in a small restaurant. She surveyed the scene, seeing that the couples sat on the same side of the table.

"I don't see why they sit on the same side, if I was dating, I'd sit across— that way I could see them better when carrying on a conversation," she said.

"It's because couples like to grope each other," he replied.

They became better friends, good friends, best friends. They always sat across from each other.

The mission had gone horribly. It was supposed to be a quick in-and-out, but it had gone south. They had killed people, a lot of people. They'd had to set a bomb off to stop the enemies, and they had killed some innocents in the process.

They went into the diner, and Clint slid into the booth on one side. Natasha slid after him. Clint opened his mouth to protest. She gripped his hand tightly, and he understood. He felt the same, too. After this mission, he needed her close.

They weren't a couple, they didn't grope each other. But they sat on the same side of the table. They needed each other that moment.

 **Author's note: Hope you're enjoying these one-shots! If some of the fluffy one-shots seem like they're written poorly, it's because I suck at writing fluff, lol. I like to write angst and hurt-comfort, and anything else is hard for me :P**


	15. Too much

The crashes of thunder stirred her from her sleep. The thunder was too loud, there was no way she could get back to sleep then. She walked downstairs, and saw Clint sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket.

"Hey," she said, sitting next to him. "Can't sleep?"

"Thunder brings back too many memories," he mumbled.

She put a hand on his shoulder and smiled sadly. They were so broken. Another crash of thunder broke the silence, and he instinctively grabbed hold of her. Realizing it was just thunder, he let go.

"Thought it was an explosion for a minute," he whispered.

"I have to go to Cairo for a mission tomorrow," she said.

"Then you should sleep."

He turned away from her then, and she was filled with guilt. She didn't want to go tomorrow, especially when he needed her here, but what could she do? She knew she wouldn't get back to sleep that night though, so she stayed with him.

A bolt of lightning split the sky, then another crash. She saw him tense instantly, shoulders hunching in self-defense.

"I won't go tomorrow," she said. He looked at her, and they both knew she was lying.

 **Author's note: Clintasha feelings are intense, bro. If you've watched Age of Ultron and/or S.O.S (the season finale of Agents of SHIELD) you can message me and we can die of feels :)**


	16. Breakfast

She was standing there, making toast, and she was the prettiest person he ever saw. Her hair was up in messy ponytail; strands of hair encircled her face. She was wearing purple pajama pants, and a black tank top.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked.

"Nothing…Just—you look really pretty right now," he responded.

She raised her eyebrows. "That's nice…but I will admit that, now, I look like a mess." She chuckled.

He shook his head. "Right now, you aren't trying to be pretty. You're just being yourself. And you are beautiful."

"Hm," she said, and went back to making breakfast. He watched her as she buttered the toast, buttering it with the precision she always had. She poured herself a glass of milk, then reached up to get a straw—they were on the top shelf—and her tank top slid up a bit, so he could see a sliver of her pale skin. On that small bit of skin was a cut. _It was from that stupid mission,_ Clint remembered. That stupid mission where he couldn't find her. Thankfully, she was here now. And he would try his hardest not to let her go.

 **Author's note: Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated- good and bad! But knowing that people are reading and following this story is enough for me. Thanks again!**


	17. Cramps

Natasha walked from the bathroom. She hadn't expected, hadn't prepared— and why now? On a mission, of all times? But her period was here. The cramps started hitting hard. She was used to the pain, used to throwing up or fainting due to it, but usually she had Tylenol. She didn't even bring goddamned pads or tampons. Ugh.

She walked into the other room, and talked with Clint about when to ambush, then— _Damn._ She bit her lip, cramps were giving her hell.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded, then turned around. She grimaced, cursing under her breath.

"Natasha?"

"I'm fine, I just—" The cramps were bad, really bad. Her vision blurred, and she grabbed at Clint's shoulder to steady herself. It was too late.

When she came to, she was in Clint's arms. He was looking up and blinking promptly.

"Clint," she said.  
He asked her what happened, and she explained. He got up, and went to the kitchen. He returned, and said: "Couldn't find any Tylenol, but here." He handed her a bar of dark chocolate. "I heard it helps."

She smiled in thanks, and took a bite. Maybe it was just the hormones, but it tasted great.

 **Author's note: So, I've heard that(*AoU spoiler alert*) since she's been sterilized, she wouldn't have periods, but I wrote this whole fanfic before AoU came out here, and before I read about that, so.. Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	18. If we were normal

They were walking around in a store. They were glancing at items, and thinking about what-ifs.

"If we were normal, and had a house, we could get these curtains…"

or

"If we had time to cook, we could get this oven…"

They each had an apartment, although they were hardly alone. Either she was in his apartment, or he was in hers. But they were never there for long, they always had missions and duties.

Neither of them had noticed the music that was playing in the store, not until some ballet music came on.

Natasha shoulders tensed instantly, her head swirling with memories of her past. Her head swam, and she gripped Clint's shoulder for support. She breathed heavily, trying to regain her composure. Clint wrapped his arm around her hip and pulled her close.

"What are you—?" she asked.

"Just like we're undercover," he said. When they were undercover they usually were a couple. "Do you need to get out?" he asked. She nodded.

They left the store and sat on the benches outside.

"Sorry, usually I have a better hold—" she said.

"It's okay," he replied.

"I wish we were normal," she said.

He didn't respond.

 **Author's note: Yoooo new chapter! I hope you're enjoying this :)**


	19. Together

Clint was back from his mission. He stood in front of her, bruised and bloody. He cocked his head to one side, and smirked.

"D'ya miss me?" he asked.

Natasha nodded fast, and said: "Yes."

She stepped forward, into his arms, and buried her face into his shoulder. He felt like home. His arms wrapped around her lower back firmly, but gently. She breathed in the familiar scent of him, and he could feel her breath on his neck. He moved a hand up to stroke her hair. She hummed in content, and it seemed they could forget. They could forget that they were standing in a SHIELD base, they could forget the horrible things they'd been through. It seemed that even if the world was burning, they could hold each other, and they would be safe.

Clint was her home. It didn't matter where they were—if he was with her, she was home.

Natasha was his world. He couldn't imagine a life without her, and she always brought a smile to his face.

They let go of each other, reluctantly. But their hands stayed together. The warmth of each others being flowed through them, and they walked—together.

 **Author's note: As I think I said before, I wrote these one-shots in a different order, then ordered them chronologically. Well, this was the first one I wrote, haha. Thanks for reading!**


	20. What he left behind

_They tortured him right in front of her. She could see him, but she couldn't get to him; she was tied up. They beat him, and the blood ran down his face. One of the men lifted an axe. He brought it down hard and fast, and the blade collided with Clint's neck-_

Natasha snapped awake. She sat bolt upright in bed, head turning from side to side—no one was there. Her breaths came fast and heavy. She put a shaky hand to her cheek to find it was streaked with tears. She lie back down, but she couldn't sleep.

She turned the key, and walked into Clint's apartment. After locking the door, she headed toward his bedroom. She flung open the door and stared at his empty bed. She hadn't seen him for months, he was on a mission of high importance. She crawled into his bed, and buried herself in his blankets. It smelled like him, like his sweat and his cheap cologne.

She breathed in and he surrounded her. Everything smelled like him. It felt like he was lying right beside her. She pushed the want to the back, and focused on the smell of him.

 **Author's note: Bad-ish news... I'll be busy for the next week or two, so I won't get around to posting. When I get more time again-like I said, should be a week or two from now- I'll post all the chapters I missed at once, so be prepared for a chapter spam when I get time. Thanks for reading!**


	21. Barely bearing

**Note: Between this chapter and the last, the battle of New York happened. This chapter takes place soon after.**

"Phil's dead." The words broke him. They had won the battle of New York, but now it felt like he had lost everything.

"Was it me?" _Did I kill him?_ Clint was unsure. Loki's mind control had made him kill others, so maybe… _Oh god, please no._

"No. It was Loki. I'm so sorry, I should've told you earlier, but I knew it would break you and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm so sorry," she said.

Natasha, Clint and Phil had been the best of friends. Phil and Natasha were the two people in Clint's life that he truly and fully loved. The number had already been small enough, and now— it was too much to bear. He couldn't bear it. He wanted to scream and yell and break things. He wanted to sob and sleep till noon. He felt so drained, so tired. But he had a fire burning inside him, a fire that made him want to kill Loki with such brutality it was hard to imagine.

She couldn't bear to see him like that. She took his face in her hands, and kissed his lips softly and slowly. She could taste his salty tears.

 **Author's note: I'm back! Today I'll be posting 8 chapters to make up for the ones I missed! Hope you enjoy. Also note- although they kiss in this chapter and a previous one, they are not necessarily dating. It's really up to you to decide how exactly they fall in love. Future chapters may show them officially dating, you'll just have to wait and see!**


	22. The little changes since

"Hey, wanna spar?" she asked. He was sure she didn't know what she was doing, but it was happening all the same. His heart starting beating harder, and flashbacks of Loki making him fight Natasha flashed through his brain. He had seen the videos SHIELD had. Loki had been planning to make Clint kill Natasha. Clint knew that Loki was gone from his head, not controlling parts of his brain anymore—but he couldn't help but worry that he was going to kill Natasha. After New York, many of her nightmares involved him hurting her, and he didn't want to make those nightmares a reality.

So he shook his head, and tried to breathe right.

"Is this because of Loki?"

He nodded. He sighed, and sat on the couch.

"You won't kill me. Even if you tried, I'd stop you. You know that."

He did know that she would probably stop him, but it wasn't a definite.

"I can't spar right now," he said.

She sat next to him on the couch, entwining their fingers. Clint could hear the steady rhythm of rain pattering against the building. He felt at ease.

Her gentle voice comforted him: "We'll get through this."

 **Author's note: This chapter was inspired by a headcanon/imagine sort of post on tumblr. I forgot the source though :/ If you recognize this idea and you know who came up with it, please tell me so I can give credit! Thanks, and I hope you're enjoying reading this :)**


	23. Heartbeat

Suddenly, he was awake.

"Natasha." His voice came out strangled.

She turned over to face him. She smiled at him sadly. "Nightmare?"

"Yeah," he responded. He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. He looked at her. _She was there. She wasn't dead. It had been a nightmare. She wasn't dead. She was okay._

She stroked his face with her hand, and he couldn't stop himself from shuddering. _This was her. She was alive. She wasn't a ghost. She was okay._

"Clint," she murmured. Her voice was soft. He was so scared.

He gripped her hand. He squeezed his eyes shut and he tried to forget. His hand traced hers, and settled on her pulse. He pushed all the fear away and tried to only feel her pulse. The steady beating which told him she was alive. He breathed with the rhythm of her heartbeat. _In, out, in, out._ She wrapped herself around him, and he could feel her breath on his neck. He breathed with her breaths. _In, out, in, out._

He was calmer now, the fear had subsided. Her finger traced patterns on his bicep and her breath tickled his neck and her pulse beat against his fingers.

 **Author's note: Such a chapter spam today, huh?**


	24. Bloody hands

He walked into her apartment. Her jacket was thrown on the couch, and her shoes and socks lay scattered on the floor. Natasha was almost always tidy, so this definitely meant something was up. That, and the fact that she had texted him 5 minutes ago: **_plea s cclint need yiu._** He walked into the bathroom, she was sitting by the toilet. He noticed a putrid smell. Looking into the toilet, he saw the source of the smell— she had been throwing up. He sat down beside her. On closer inspection he saw that her hands were shaking and covered in blood.

"What the hell happened?" he asked.

"I was on a mission, and, and, and, there was this guy I was supposed to kill, so I shot him, but it wasn't him, it was a guy who looked like him, I shot an innocent guy in the head, and I was holding his head and looking at him and I could see his brain through the bullet hole—" She paused to dry heave above the toilet. "I'm a killer again, he was innocent, oh god, I hate myself so much."

He comforted her as best he could. (he couldn't)

 **Author's note: If you have any Clintasha fic recs, let me know :) I need some Clintasha after AoU ;-;**


	25. Happiness

The Avengers were sitting around, some watching tv, others messing around on their StarkPhones. Clint was sitting on one of the couches. He was technically doing stuff, he was scrolling through his Instagram feed, but he wasn't really paying any attention. He was tired, like usual, and he wasn't really paying attention to anything.

Natasha came out downstairs, and settled next to Clint on the couch. Her shoulder was touching his. She smelt like vanilla, and her rose perfume. He breathed in her scent, and he felt even sleepier. Tension left his shoulders. She calmed him.

He rested his head on her shoulder. He hummed contentedly.

"You smell nice," he said.

She laughed. "That's not creepy at all," she said. He supposed it was supposed to be sarcasm, but it didn't really sound like it.

His eyes were looking at the tv, but he wasn't watching. He wasn't thinking of anything, his mind was blissfuly blank. The scent of her surrounded him, and wormed its way into his mind. His mind wasn't blank anymore, but it was serene, filled only with thoughts of vanilla and roses and the idea of her. He slowly drifted into a dream world, falling asleep.

 **Author's note: CA:TWS is my favorite movie of all time. It is literally perfection. Also, I can't wait for CA:CW.**


	26. Every moment away

She lingered in front of the door to the so-called "family room". She could hear the Avengers talking and joking inside. She had been on a mission, which was supposed to last for a week, but it took her two. She completed the mission, it went well, it just took her longer than it should have. Overall, she'd say it was a success. It took her some time, but she did it with ease.

One of the Avengers must have made a funny joke, because she could hear them all burst into peals of laughter. She wasn't sure if Clint's laughing was the loudest or not, but her mind picked it up and amplified it. His laugh sounded joyful, carefree, and wonderful, and she wished she had been the one to make him laugh like that. She wasn't jealous, she just missed hearing his laugh. _Stop it,_ she said to herself, _it's only been two weeks._

As she peered into the room she could see she'd been wrong. He wasn't carefree, he was worried. His shoulders were tense, and he kept checking his phone.

She walked in, and the tension left his shoulders as soon as he saw her.

 **Author's note: Angst is great :-)**


	27. Bits of nothing

**Note: This takes place after Captain America: The Winter Soldier.**

She never really knew how much he meant to her until he wasn't there. She knew he meant a lot, but she didn't know how immense her need for him was. She didn't realize until HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD. Until she couldn't trust anybody.

Was he living or dead? Was he SHIELD or HYDRA? She didn't know. She hated not knowing. Knowing he was dead was better than hoping he might still be alive. Hope was a drug, and she was getting high.

So now she found herself sitting on a curb in a back alley, and _had it really come to this?_ Natasha wasn't one to let out her pain, she was one to swallow it in. She knew that that was one of the things that made her the way she was, one of the reasons her smiles were few and far between.

When a cat came over to her, she shooed it away. It seemed shooing was a habit of hers. It resisted her shooing, and crept over to her. _(Just like Clint had)_ When it crawled into her lap, she petted it, because what else was she supposed to do? Its soft fur soothed Natasha's pain.

 **Author's note: I love Clintasha :)**


	28. After SHIELD fell

She was standing outside. Maria had told her that he was coming. She heard leaves crunching, and she knew it was him. She refrained from looking. He was alive, and Maria would've checked that he wasn't HYDRA. Still, looking felt like it would be a roller-coaster. She turned around, and there he was.

He walked towards her. She wasn't facing him, but he could see her hair was straightened and a bit longer than the last time he'd seen her. He walked at a slow pace, leaves crackling with each step. Then she turned.

When she turned, he could look at her fully. She was wearing her arrow necklace. Her eyes were duller than usual. Upon seeing him, he could see her tense. Funny, it used to be that when they saw each other they would relax. She looked at him hard and long, and he broke away the gaze first, ducking his head.

His head whipped up when he heard the leaves crunching. She half walked, half ran, into his arms. He breathed in her familiar scent. She didn't talk, didn't say anything, just held him. She held him and he held her, and they were broken together.

 **Author's note: Well, this is the last chapter for today. But don't worry- There are still 22 chapters remaining. I'll try to post a chapter a day again, now that I am less busy.**


	29. So cold

They were back from a mission, covered in gashes, cuts, and bruises. They walked into Clint's apartment, and went to the bathroom to clean up. He got the clean-up kit from off the top shelf, and they stripped off their suits. They stood there in their underwear, shivering due to the cold air— the heater wasn't working. They took turns stitching up the tears in each other's skin. They applied ointment to each other's bruises.

After they were pieced back together, they just stood there.

"It's so cold," she said. She folded herself into his arms, and they stood there, in an embrace.

The arrow necklace she always wore felt like ice against his skin. Her breaths felt like fire. Her hair tickled his skin. His hands wove around her body, coming to rest on that scar. The bullet mark from when the bullet had tore straight through her flesh. The time she had been there in the hospital bed, and she had looked so dead.

His fingers traced the bullet scar. The scar she always kept hidden, the one she never let anyone touch. She pressed herself against him, her only source of warmth. It was so cold.

 **Author's note: Thanks so much for reading! As I've said before, I finished this before the premiere of AoU (May 1 where I live) and so I'd already written all 50 chapters prior to posting any. I haven't been writing any fanfic lately, and I'd like to get back to it. I'm thinking of making a poll that will show different ideas of mine, and you guys can vote on which you like best. I'd like to start working on something so that I'll have something to post when this is over, or before. Once I make the poll I'll let you guys know in the author's note of the chapter on the day I make, so when I make it you should vote! Sorry for a such a long author's note. More Senses coming tomorrow!**


	30. Her personas

She was always changing. Some days she was a blonde haired bombshell, others a raven haired stripper, others a brunette farm girl. Cover after cover after cover. Some agents hated going undercover, but Clint rather enjoyed it. It was fun to play make-believe, and it was fun to see all the different personas they could take. They were mainly always lovers, but sometimes siblings, or cousins, or other relations. Mainly they were lovers. They had been undercover so many times that they were quite good at it. They were actor and actress, playing part after part.

One day she was blonde, and flirty. She kissed him and smirked; it was all fake. All just her facade. She giggled and tittered and was so unlike herself.

Another day she had bright purple hair, and they posed as punk rock musicians. She was wearing clashing colors of black. She winked and growled and was so unlike herself.

She could look like 1000 different people, and they were all beautiful. But she was best when she was herself.

SHIELD fell, and months later he finally got to see her— her hair was longer and straightened, and her eyes were duller than usual.

 **Author's note: So this kind of mentions another chapter.. I may rearrange some chapters after they are all posted. But for now, here you go! I'll try to have a poll up by Monday!**


	31. We could

The sand was soft and grainy. It felt strange to walk barefoot and feel the sand between his toes. It felt too right. Her hand was in his, and it all felt too right.

The waves splashed against their feet, and she smiled against her will. They had finished the mission, and why not stay here for a little while? She could have stayed forever.

They sat in the sand, with their feet in the water. She curled up against his chest. He looked down at her and grinned at her smile. It was nice, it was happy.

The next time he looked down at her, there was no smile on her face. Her hand was clasping her arrow necklace, and she looked so…something. She looked so much like she was needing something.

"Natasha?"

Her head snapped up to look at him, her hand leaving the necklace with a jerk.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I want this so bad," she said.

"Hey, we have it for now, might as well make use of it."

"We're already overstaying."

"We could stay longer." He wanted to.

"We could stay forever. But we're not going to."

She was right, of course.

 **Author's note: Here's that poll I was telling you guys about. There are still quite a few chapters of this to go(total of 50 chapters) but I'll start working on something else. If the link doesn't work, let me know! poll/polls_tab_ ?pollid=441907**


	32. The things we don't say

They were taking a walk, walking along a quiet trail, when they noticed the wind. The wind started out slow, with small gusts and a slight chill. It picked up, with wild gusts and cold air. The start of the walk had been warm, albeit slightly chilly. But now the wind blew hard, it was loud and gusty.

 _Should've brought a jacket,_ thought Clint.

The wind whistled around, sharp and piercing and loud and gusting. Natasha walked slightly closer to Clint. She was used to the cold, though. But she didn't mind Clint's warmth.

Clint noticed Natasha walking closer, and he was glad. It was cold, and the wind was loud. He contemplated wrapping his arm around Natasha's waist, and pulling her close for warmth, but he decided against it. He wouldn't want to, not without her consent. And it would be too awkward to ask, so he settled with almost touching.

Natasha wanted to be touching Clint. Not because of lust, but because of the cold air that whipped around them. She could see him shivering, and she wanted to help, _but I can't just do it._ He was cold, and all she wanted was to give him warmth.

 **Author's note: I re-read this before posting... eh. Some of these one-shots were pretty rushed. Anyway, apparently the link to the poll doesn't work. Sorry for posting a bad link. I tried to add the poll to my profile, but I don't think it did anything. I haven't made a poll before, and I'm not sure how to post it so you guys can see. If anyone knows how to post a poll or the link to it, please PM me! Thanks. Hopefully with some help the poll will be up soon.**


	33. Beach thoughts

He rubbed the suntan lotion on her shoulders. It smelled beachy and coconutty. When he was done, she started rubbing some on his back.

It smelled so distinctly like going to the beach, which they were. But it was weird. They were on a vacation, actual vacation. SHIELD actually let them have a full week of absolute freedom.

They walked in the sand, and swam in the ocean and it was surprisingly fun. It was fun, and normal. It was strange.

They sat at a little table, eating some hamburgers.

"This is the strangest thing," she said.

"Times like this it feels like we _could_ be normal," he agreed.

Even when they had a normal vacation, they weren't normal. They still woke up with nightmares, or couldn't sleep at all. Sometimes she didn't feel like leaving the house, and sometimes he had a panic attack in the mall.

Even when they were on vacation, they couldn't get away from their demons.

"We could never be normal," she said.

He bit into his hamburger to avoid having to agree or disagree. He finishing chewing, and sighed. "You're right."

It was still fun. They smelled like the beach and they were free.

 **Author's note: If you want to find the poll, you can go to my profile and it'll be at the top. Thanks to someone who was telling me how to put a link in, but I think it'll be easier to just go to my profile and vote. Some people have already voted, so thanks to them! I'll let you guys know when I start working on something else. Please vote!**


	34. Everyone can tell

They were in love, obviously. Coulson saw it everywhere. He saw it from the start when they would stare at each when they thought no one was looking, till New York when she was so intently focused on him. He could see it their glances, and the way their eyes lit up when they looked at the other. He could see it in the way they were on edge when the other was presumed dead. It was quite obvious.

They cared about each other too much. Fury knew that. He knew it from the start when he wouldn't let anyone touch the girl he was supposed to kill, till the arrow necklace that always hung around her neck. He knew it when Clint wouldn't tell SHIELD about Natasha's past, even though he knew all of it. He knew it when Natasha's goal in the NY battle was saving Clint, and she left a mission when she heard he was in trouble. It would be their downfall.

All of SHIELD knew that Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff were a couple. Yet they weren't, were they? There was a fine line between lovers and best friends, and they were right on it.

 **Author's note: Thanks for voting on the poll! As of now, the two top things are Clintasha mermaid au, and Avengers highschool/college au. I'll try to start working on them soon. They will both probably be long one-shots. I haven't started yet though, so if you'd rather me write something else, go vote! Thanks for reading! And sorry for the glitched upload! Hopefully it works this time!**


	35. Apart

The storm had stopped, and Natasha went outside. It smelled distinctly like the aftermath of a storm. Maybe to some people it smelled good, but it just smelled sad to Natasha. She shivered, it was a cold autumn. Her shoulders shook with shivers, or maybe they were shaking with unshed tears. She couldn't tell. She might have been crying even. She wasn't sure. She just wanted him right then, just him and nothing else. If he was there the smell of sadness would instead be the smell of calm.

It smelled so lonely. It smelled like her absence, and he hated it. She wasn't that far away. If he wasn't on this stupid mission, he could have reached her within the hour. If she was here she'd be holding his hand. She'd be resting her head lightly on his shoulder. But she wasn't. He couldn't stop thinking about the place where she would have been.

"Natasha?" Steve's voice wafted over to her as he made his way outside. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinking." She was an expert liar.

"Agent Barton? Shouldn't we be moving in on the enemy?" Agent Johnson asked.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking." Thinking of her.

 **Author's note: I actually like this chapter, so that's good. I'm going to start working on the mermaid au this weekend :) Thanks to everyone who let me know that the last chapter was glitching. I don't generally check it, so thanks for telling me! If it happens again, just review or pm me to let me know. Thanks, and thanks for reading!**


	36. Silence and smiles

The curtains fluttered with a chilly breeze. The blankets were so soft. Clint didn't feel like getting up, and he didn't have to. It was a calm and relaxing Sunday morning. He looked over at Natasha, who was still sleeping. He couldn't help but think that she looked pretty while she slept. He shoved those thoughts out of his mind, realizing they sounded kind of creepy. Natasha stirred, casting about with her hand. Clint clasped her hand, and she relaxed again.

Minutes later, Natasha opened her eyes.

"Morning," she mumbled. She pulled the soft blanket to her face, and sighed with happiness. Lazy Sunday mornings were the best. She rolled into Clint's arms, and he laughed into her hair.

"This is great, isn't it?" he asked.

She nodded.

They got out of bed a few hours later, and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. Clint made pancakes, and Natasha made eggs ("the only thing I can cook well", she liked to say) They sat down at the table and ate in silence and smiles.

It was a good day. They sat on the couch, not watching tv, not doing anything. It was a nothing day, and it was everything.

 **Author's note: Hey guys! Thanks for reading! I haven't started the mermaid au yet, but I plan to start it tomorrow. Thanks so much for reading and following this!**


	37. Peppermint lips

_Who made the first move?_

 _Romantically? Well, her, technically._

It wasn't a special occasion. Neither of them had just come back from a mission. And neither of them were about to go on one. She hadn't just had a nightmare. They hadn't been chilling around, either. It was nothing.

He walked over to her and said: "Do you want to come over? I have a shitty movie we could watch."

She didn't respond. She walked up to him and stared at him.

"You don't have to?" It was more a question than a statement.

Her hand grasped his jaw, and she stretched up to reach his height.

His heart started racing, though he wasn't quite sure what was happening.

Then she kissed him.

It wasn't their first kiss. They had kissed dozens of times while undercover. But this one was real.

Her lips pressed against his. She tasted like peppermint. He wasn't sure if he kissed her back. He wasn't thinking about anything other than her at that moment. Her lips were soft and gentle and peppermint and beautiful.

After the short and soft kiss, she pulled away. She turned sharply, and walked away. All he could taste was peppermint.

 **Author's note: So are they together now? Or are they not? You'll have to wait to find out...*evil laugh* Anyway, I haven't had time to work on the mermaid au, so sorry about that. Also! Someone on Wattpad suggested making some of these one-shots into longer stories! What do you guys think about that? If I did, I'd wait until after this was all posted, and I'd make a poll to see which one you guys wanted. Well, let me know if you think that's a good idea. Thanks for reading!**


	38. She loves me, she loves me not

She had made the first move. She had randomly kissed him. But then she pretended that it had never happened. And he brought it back up.

 ** _Come over_** _,_ he had texted her. **_For a date. If you really meant it when you kissed me._**

And now he sat on his couch, listening to the clock tick. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

 _I_ ** _'ll be over at 2:00pm tomorrow_** _,_ she had texted him back.

It was tomorrow. And— he checked the clock— it was 2:00pm. And she wasn't here. The clock ticked and ticked and it was driving him insane. _She doesn't love you. Stop thinking she might._ He tried to smother the hope that was fluttering in his chest, but it didn't work. _We made out in a closet that once. She kissed me a few days ago! She feels something._ But he knew he was probably wrong. _She doesn't love me._

Tick, tock, tick, tock. 2:15. _She doesn't love me, of course she doesn't love me, why would she ever—_

There was a knocking on the door, her knocking.

He opened the door. "You're here. I… I didn't think you'd come."

"Neither did I, but… here I am."

 **Author's note: Well, finally they've become an official couple! Yayyyy. Thanks for reading!**


	39. Puppy

Natasha opened the door. She hung up her jacket, then stoppeds. She heard a sound. It was… barking? She frowned. Why was there barking?

"Clint?"

Clint hurried out of another room. By inspection she saw that he was covered in hair.

"Uh… Yeah. Okay. Um…" He rubbed his nose awkwardly. "I was going to see dogs, and— it's only a foster dog, we'll only take care of him for a few months…"

More barking.

"Just let it out," she said.

Clint opened the door to his bedroom. A fluffy ball of cuteness came barreling right at Natasha. It stopped at her feet, barking and jumping up at her.

"I—" Natasha did not know what to do with the puppy that was waiting at her feet. She looked at Clint, wide eyed. "What do I do?"

"You just…" He knelt down and pet the puppy. It barked and licked him.

Natasha knelt down tentatively, and rubbed the puppy's fur. It slobbered all over her hand. She chuckled.

"I guess I wouldn't mind keeping him for a little while," she said.

They both loved coming home to the sound of barking. They even contemplated keeping him. They didn't, but they wanted to.

 **Author's note: Thanks for reading guys! If you know of any good Clintasha fanfic, lemme know! ;)**


	40. Stars

They had finished the mission, and now they were lying in the grass, staring at the dark sky and the stars that were sprinkled in it.

"Back in the Red Room," she said. "The Winter Soldier— no, James— would lie outside with me at night. They would always tell us things were impossible. They said it was impossible to count all the stars. So, nights with James, I would count and count them, counting until I fell asleep. I would wake up in my bed. I never counted them all, but I never stopped trying. Every night with him I would do it. I've matured now, I was just a hopeful little girl back then."

She looked up at the bright stars. With the speckled sky and Clint by her side, she started to hope, and she started to count.

He watched her count the stars. He chastised himself for taking her lover's place. He chastised himself for loving her, just as James had. He hated living in James' shadow, and he hated that she did the same things with him that she had done with James. And he hated himself for thinking like that, instead of enjoying the moment.

 **Author's note: This one is kind of all over the place, sorry. Only 10 more chapters to go! I plan to rearrange a few chapters after they have all been posted. I am planning on starting Colors, another Clintasha one-shot collection soon. It won't be chronological order, and the one-shots probably won't relate at all. But, there is one good thing- I won't be doing 200 words per chapter, I'll just do random amount. None of them will probably be very long, as I tend to write shorter pieces, but they should be longer than these, which I know is something some have been asking for. So, don't worry, even after this, more Clintasha one-shots will be coming :) Thanks for reading!**


	41. Death

They lie together on the cold earth, holding hands.

She breathed in the smell of the dirt. It smelled like life and death.

"Someday, we'll be buried in this earth," she said. She looked at him, and he looked right back.

"We'll have them bury us next to each other," she added. "I want to be with you always." He clasped her hand. She sighed. It wasn't a particularly sad sigh, nor a particularly happy one. It was just an exhalation of breath.

He sniffed the ground. It smelled sweet and fresh and natural.  
"We'll ask to be buried without any sort of coffin. That way, our bodies will decompose and meld into the earth. Our bodies' decomposing parts will mix with each others and we'll be one with the earth."

It sounded nice, dying together and lying in the earth together. They lie next to each other, just as they hoped they would at the end of their lives.

They got up. Their clothes were smeared with dirt. The smell of the earth followed them. They left the place where they wanted to die. But the dirt was still on their clothes, and the want was still with them.

 **Author's note: so... idk how I feel about this one.. But! In like 5 minutes I'll be posting the first chapter of Colors! So let me know what you think! ^^**


	42. Choking

Fighting was futile. They were losing, they had lost. The smoke and ash smothered him. The world was hard to see. The ash in his mouth tasted like death, this was death. He didn't know where she was. He gagged on the ash, the horrible taste in his mouth. He needed to know where she was. Everything exploded.

He came to in a standard SHIELD hospital bed. He could still taste the ash on his tongue. People were talking but he couldn't tell what they were saying. He could hear noises but everything was muffled. He gasped for air, trying to figure out what was happening.

"What happened?" he thought he asked. He couldn't hear what he said, only that he said something. The doctors held up some cards. **You are partially deaf, we will have hearing aids for you shortly, and then you should be able to hear, mostly.**

"Natasha?" he tried to say. A doctor left and came back with her. She was crying and she was saying something. He stared at her lips, trying to make it out. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—_ The ash in his throat was choking him.

 **Author's note: Sorry if I'm butchering Deaf!Clint. I am learning ASL and some Deaf culture but I may still make some mistakes. If in any of the future chapters there are any obvious mistakes, please let me know~!**


	43. Lies

They sat on the couch in silence. He lie with his head resting in her lap, his eyes pressed shut. She combed her fingers through his hair gently. She pressed her face to the top of his head, inhaling the scent of his shampoo. He smelled the same. He wasn't the same, though.

He sat up, and opened his eyes. He rested his shoulder against hers. She hated the silence, it was so smothering. But talking was worthless when he couldn't hear the words. Hearing aids were coming soon, the doctors said. Soon wasn't soon enough. She couldn't help but blame herself. She had been too far away to help, too far to push him away from the explosion, but she could have tried.

She took hold of his hand, but he yanked it away.

"Clint," she said, then realized.

He glared at her.

 _Sorry,_ she mouthed.

She turned away, trying to hold back the tears. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. He tapped her shoulder. She turned around.

 _It's okay,_ he mouthed. It wasn't. She looked down, took a deep breath, and tried to regain an ounce of composure.

"It's okay," he said. "I'm okay." He wasn't.

 **Author's note: Thanks for reading!**


	44. This Mess

**Note: I have read that people with hearing aids don't want people to touch their hearing aids without consent, so please pretend that she asks and he nods before it happens. I would change it, but I was trying to keep each one-shot exactly 200 words long.**

It was New Year's Eve, and Tony was throwing a huge party at Stark/Avengers Tower. Natasha wondered if it was possible that Tony knew all the people, but she figured he probably didn't. She couldn't ask Tony because he was drunk. It wasn't just Tony though, mainly everyone was drunk. She wasn't sure what to do—she wasn't one to get drunk. She wandered around, but she walked with purpose, as if she had a place to go. She didn't, though, she was just wandering. But she wasn't going to let anyone else know that.

Her eyes scanned the crowds, and stopped on him. Maybe she hadn't been wandering. He smiled when he saw her, and she pushed through the people to get to him.

Soon, it was almost midnight.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" yelled the crowd. People blew into noisemakers, and couples were kissing. Fireworks started going off with bangs, and the sky was illuminated with colorful sparks. Natasha turned toward Clint, and she saw him twitching. She realized it was the noise of the fireworks, ptsd was a monster. She reached up and took out his hearing aids. He relaxed, and they watched the colors explode.

 **Author's note: Thanks for reading, you guys! Sadly, Senses is almost over. But hopefully I'll write some more of Colors and get that up soon. :)**


	45. Normal

It was the fourth of July. They were with the Avengers. They walked around, eating all sorts of USA-colored food. Steve looked like he was having a great time—he truly was Captain America. Tony had suggested that the Avengers should dress patriotically, and surprisingly they all had done so. Clint was wearing a red t-shirt and blue jeans, and Natasha was wearing white jeans and a blue shirt. They looked like a normal domestic couple. They looked like they had nice dinners, and always said 'I love you' before going to bed.

She found it interesting, how they could be seen as a normal couple, when they were anything but. The people that looked at them didn't know that they had frequent nightmares or that she couldn't tell him she loved him, even though he told her he loved her all the time. Others didn't know that sometimes he got panic attacks when they sparred. Their real selves were hidden.

They sat down on a picnic blanket to watch the fireworks. They sat there, and they looked so normal, no one could tell that they were killers. No one saw the blood that still stained their hands.

 **Author's note: Only 5 chapters left! Thanks for reviewing!**


	46. Admit it

Natasha wasn't very comfortable with love. Loving was such a vulnerable thing. When you loved you exposed yourself, opened yourself up so your lover could see every inch of you, all your flaws and all your secrets. And when you lived a life like she did, your love could and would be used against you. Your lover would be tortured in front of you. Love was a weakness.

The first time he told her he loved her, she panicked. She cried and told him she couldn't say the same. He had told her that it was okay, that she never had to say it. But he said it a lot even though he never expected a reply. It had been so long since he told her, and yet she never once told him.

She loved Clint. It took a while to admit it to herself, but now she had. She loved him with all the risks. So, one night when they lie in bed, and he was facing away from her, messing around on his phone, she did it. She traced the words on his arm over and over again. _I love you._ It felt so good to admit it.

 **Author's note: Thank you guys so much for reading! Hopefully I'll post more of Colors or some other stuff soon, I've been busy. Thanks for reviewing and voting and everything! ^u^**


	47. Yesterday

He lie in bed. Getting up took so much effort. He pulled himself into a sitting position. He sniffed, and could smell yesterday. Smoke from the bonfire last night. He guessed he had been too lazy to change into pajamas, because he was wearing the clothes from yesterday, the clothes that smelled like smoke and ash and fire. He remembered the burning of the flames, and her hand in his. He stared at the space in the bed where she had been. She had been there last night, right next to him.

He noticed a note on his bedside table, and picked it up.

 _Clint,_

 _had to go on a mission, should be back in a few days_

 _xoxo_

 _nat_

He smiled at her familiar handwriting, but sighed. He wished she could be with him right now on this lazy Sunday morning.

He made himself get up. He took a shower, and changed his clothes. He joined the other Avengers downstairs, and made himself a cup of coffee.

"Hey. That bonfire was nice, we should do that again," said Steve, leaning near to Clint. Steve smelled like smoke. He smelled like the fun of last night. He smelled like yesterday.

 **Author's note: I feel so busy,, guess I shouldn't have decided to take a summer class. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! peace out B) (yeah, I'm secretly a huge nerd. shhhhh)**


	48. Home

Natasha came home to the smell of baking bread. She inhaled the smell, it smelled so good.  
"I'm home," she called.

Clint walked over. "Hey, sweetheart." He gave her a quick kiss.

"You wanna help me clean up?" she asked. The recent mission had left her with an assortment of cuts and bruises.

"Course."

"You're baking bread?" she asked as he helped her out of her skintight suit.

"Yeah. Might as well be normal and domestic for once, right?"

She smiled. "Mmm. It smells great."

"Let's hope it tastes good, too."

After her cuts were cleaned and she had showered and changed into something more comfortable, they sat down to eat the bread Clint had baked. It tasted even better than it had smelled. It felt too good to be true, sitting there with Clint and eating homemade food.

It was too good to be true. Clint's phone rang, he had to go on a mission. So he got up, and he kissed her goodbye, and he left. Work held precedence. She sat there, alone, and wished they could be normal. She liked missions, and SHIELD, but sometimes they went months without seeing each other. Without him, she wasn't home.

 **Author's note: Senses is almost over! Thank you all for your support!**


	49. Missed his lips

"I missed you," she said. Then she let out a gasp from the pain in her side.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just have this stupid gash in my side."

She had come back from a mission which had gone relatively well. It hadn't gone perfect though, which was obvious from the pain in her side. But she was with Clint, and she was okay.

She pressed her lips to his. She had missed this while she was gone. He kissed her back, hard. She kissed back harder, and pushed him against the bar. He tasted like wine, and she loved it.

After pulling away, she raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You taste like wine," she said.

He ducked his head. "Stop it," he said, but the corners of his mouth were turned upwards.

"I like it."

He smiled and shook his head at her.

"We'd be having some really good sex right now if I didn't hurt all over," she said.

He snickered.

"Kiss me again?" she asked.

"Can't resist you," he said, and their lips met again.

His hands on her hips and the taste of the wine on his lips were enough to soothe the pain.

 **Author's note: Only one more chapter after this, ! Thanks for reading, you guys!**


	50. Desire

**note: this is a different maria then in the other chapter, that maria was a character from avengers, this maria is a character i made up. sorry if it's confusing**

"Can you hold her for a bit? I'll be right back." Pepper handed her daughter to Clint.

Maria Stark was adorable. Clint was so afraid he'd drop her, he didn't trust himself to hold such a fragile little human.

"You want to hold her?" he asked Natasha. "I don't trust myself."

"I don't think I—" Natasha stopped, in awe of the baby in her arms.

She held the baby's hand, it was so small and soft. She compared the size of her hand with the baby, and Maria gurgled happily. Natasha looked at Clint, wonderstruck. Natasha held so much potential in her arms. She looked at the small child, and suddenly a fierce desire burned inside her.

She looked at Clint, he was looking at her with so much love. "I can't have children," she confessed. She could feel tears brimming in her eyes.

"We don't need to. Anyway, we could always adopt. God, we're not even married." He wiped the tears from her face with his thumb.

She looked at the little girl in her arms. She held the little hand, and kissed the little forehead.

"I know we don't need to," she said. "But sometimes I want to."

 **Author's note: The end! I had originally planned to re-order some chapters, but I think I'll leave it as it is. Thank you all so much for the follows, favorites, and reviews! I had no idea that this story would attract as much attention as it did. It means a lot! Don't worry, I'll still be writing more Clintasha. I plan to write another chapter of Colors today, so that should be posted this weekend. If you have any suggestions for fan fiction, pm me and i'll see what I can do :) Thank you all so much!**


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